May
2006
My Hobbit
This is the way I would start “The Hobbit”
‘In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet, hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry bare sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort’…
…The hobbit that lived in this hole was named Mr. Hobbit and he was very fond of his little hole.
One day while he was quietly relaxing in his comfy little chair, he heard a knock on the door, Mr. Hobbit being the gentleman he was rushed to answer it. Standing just outside the door was that really hot, chick, hobbit; Miss Furry-Feet
“Hi” said Miss Furry-Feet as she wandered inside,
“Uh-da-blu-uh HI!” said Mr. Hobbit as he tried to find is tongue “Come in, come in, Oh do come in!”
“Mr. Hobbit,” she said as she made herself comfortable on the couch, “I have some extremely important news…”
Just then they heard a very loud whistle come from the kitchen,
“Oh, I’d a better go get that,” said Mr. Hobbit, and rushed out to go and get the kettle, “would you like to stay for brunch, I was just about to start eating.”
“YES!” shouted Miss Furry-Feet and ran out to the dinning room “YES, YES, YES!”
Then the two greedy hobbits began to scoff down cakes and scull juice.
“Um, show bidn’t moo mant lu chalk moo tee mabout mofin?” said Mr. Hobbit with a mouthful of food.
“I’m sorry?”
“Hay mon mon semenc,” said Mr. Hobbit as he tried to swallow, “Ok, let me try again, didn’t you want to talk to me about something?”
“Ah, yes, the news,” said Miss Furry-Feet starting to get excited, “Bilbo and I are getting married and we want you to be the best man!”
“Oh my gosh” said Mr. Hobbit and ran out of the room, trying to hide his tears, “It’s over, it’s all over!”…
Interesting version of the Hobbit.
If they made this into a movie perhaps Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could play the lead roles.
Now that would be interesting to see!!!